Tag: MeToo

From The Hill: “GOP Woman on Kavanaugh Allegations: ‘What boy hasn’t done this in high school?’”

The Hill on Twitter Republican women defend Kavanaugh What boy hasn_t done this in high school https t co yMLe5bdVSa…

The title of this article almost made me throw-up. The report was about an interview CNN conducted with five women from Florida about Christine Blasey Ford’s allegations against Supreme Court Justice nominee Brett Kavanaugh. She says that when they both attended the high school he had pinned her down and “tried to remove her clothes at a high school party in the 1980s and covered her mouth to muffle her screams.” These women defended Judge Kavanaugh because of his impeccable record on the bench and, as one woman put it, “How can we believe the word of a woman of something that happened 36 years ago… There is nobody that has spoken ill will about him.” I just stared at my computer monitor and shook my head. I read the rest, read through the history, the comments from the Democrats and those defending Doctor Ford’s statement and more of what the GOP and these women had to say. It left me deeply disturbed but not totally in disbelief for a good reason.

By now most people following the news knows of the reactions from both political parties and of the President’s comments. On Twitter, one woman commenting on the article said, “Imagine hypothetically if this happened at the school where these women’s had girls attending. What would they tell their daughters? “Boys just do those things.”

My wife, daughter and I don’t have to think hypothetically we know first hand what can happen because it happened in our high school. For reasons that will become apparent to some, or at least its implications, I can not name the school district or the high school where this happened. I can not name the individuals involved nor those who investigated the incident without facing legal retribution. All I can do is relate the basic facts.

5 girls tried to file a complaint against a boy who couldn’t keep his hands to himself. My daughter stepped up to encourage these girls to come forward. What happened next floored us. The girls were interrogated separately by a police officer and school administrator and were repeatedly asked if this was made up. Afterward, the boy was “severely talked to” but no police report was filed, and nothing noted into his school record. We were told “kids will start things and not mean it”, “the boy was just messing around”, and, love this one, “you don’t want to ruin a young man’s reputation just on what a bunch of girls says”. The girls never talked to anyone further about this and my daughter was bullied through social media by the boy and his friends.

My daughter finally had to leave the school district but not before we found out two things. 1. the police officer who took the statements was already criticizing the credibility of the young women BEFORE he talked to them and 2. the boy’s father worked for the school district. I also learned from my oldest two children who had attended this high school, and from others, that it had the reputation of being “The Rape School” of the district.

This is the society we live in and the culture that must change. This is America now where boys will be boys only if you let them.

 

‘Roseanne’ Cancellation by ABC

roseanne-reboot

ABC canceled the popular ‘Roseanne’ reboot because of the furor caused by the malicious and controversial tweets posted on Twitter by Roseanne Barr and they have rightly done so. I will not dignify the remarks by repeating them here though, by now, we have all read them and know them for the racist comments that they are. Some will say that it’s okay now because she took them down and apologized. Others will say that this is just an overreaction by a “politically correct” liberal-leaning Hollywood-run corporation. But most disturbingly, I think, is that some will say that this is censorship and that it infringes on Ms. Barr’s right to free speech. I say disturbingly because no one person, no one group, especially with as great a following as Ms. Barr has, should make, as ABC Entertainment President Channing Dungey put it, the “abhorrent and repugnant” remarks she made without expecting consequences. A “bad joke” she called it. The bad joke is on our society if we believe for one moment that this sort of behavior, especially coming from one so well known, is okay. It is not only wrong it’s morally wrong to even think of condoning it.

Yes, we do live in the world of the MeToo movement and the anti-bullying crusade but why they even exist goes to the heart of what is wrong with our society. We Americans were once known as a people of acceptance and tolerance, of fighting not only for the freedom and rights for ourselves but for others in the world, a giving people when we saw those in need and a righteous and moral nation that based itself on the concept that we can be better than we are. Yes, we have faltered many times through bigotry and ignorance, greed and intemperance, selfishness and indifference. And in the end, we recognize our faults and as one people we correct our mistakes by doing what is right. We don’t do that anymore.

 Instead, we are a nation divided not because of cause or politics, but because some believe it is ideologically correct to abandon our moral conscious, our duty to others, our civic obligation to uphold the basic Rights that founded our country of “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness”. We are rotten with the abscess of hatred that corrupts our soul and gives strength to our neurosis of fear. We build walls to exclude others. We threaten with violence those that do not agree with us. We cheat those less fortunate to “get a better deal”. And most troubling we abuse others because of their gender, race, religion, and place of origin.

Is there a cure for what morally sickens our nation? I don’t know. But, I do think what that the company owned by “The House That Mickey Mouse Built” did today is in the right direction.

-A. M. Holmes

Understanding Men

 

Author’s Note: With the Women’s March, the #MeToo, and #TimesUpNow movements taking center stage I think it’s time we look at what really has inspired them, Men.

male symbol emoji - Google Search

Some of you women may have been wondering what the hell is wrong with these men? Is it all about power and control? Is it that they wish to dominate everything that badly? Did mommy and daddy not teach them to respect women? Is it genetics? Are they just plain stupid? Or just brain dead? The short answer is, well, boring.

A multi-disciplinary research study in areas from genetics to behaviorism, psychology, and physiology have concluded that the main drive for men falls into three categories and little else. Men are motivated only by three things,

  1. Food
  2. Sex
  3. A way to do as little as possible with the least amount of effort and the greatest amount of gain.

Every single human endeavor from the dawn of time created by men can be thought of as a way of achieving one or more of these goals. From understanding the secrets of the universe to Velcro, it’s all about food, sex, and the desire to be lazy. Now, these are not in any kind of order of importance and they do tend to overlap on many occasions. As a matter of fact, if more of these goals can be achieved at the same time, the better. Take for example strip joints that feature all-you-can-eat buffets that are so popular among men. Here men can eat, enjoy sex, and achieve a high amount of self-gratification without doing anything at all (I always thought that if all of this could be done in a tasteful way, men doing these things while sitting on the toilet would be Nirvana). Men will pay top dollar to go to these establishments.

Another example is agriculture.

What motivated humans from leaving the comforts of the jungle to go trudging into the dangers of the outside world? Food (and if it was a woman who led the way- sex). Tool making? To do as little as possible with the least amount of effort and the highest amount of gain (opening a coconut, or the head of the person trying to steal your coconut). Combining the two we became hunter and gatherers (please note that its “hunters” then “gathers”, you’ll understand in a minute). Men developed societies in which women did most of the gathering (a laborious back-breaking effort requiring a great amount of time) while the men did the hunting (requiring a lot of wandering around not really sure where to go, eventually running into something, tracking it, killing it, skinning it, chopping it, and after much revelry, back patting, and a lot of “atta-boy, Og”, finally dragging it home to eat it- after the women prepared it, of course). It only took a mere 2 million years (and a long time of nagging from cave wives) for men to go to the next step and invent agriculture. Now, all that men had to do was to go out into their back-yards and kill it, skin it, chop it to bring it in and eat it (again, after women prepared it).

What about other inventions, you say? Cars- come on, aren’t they supposed to be sexy? Yes, if you consider a noisy, smelly, polluting machine made of cold steel and plastic that provides transportation with the least amount of effort (on the driver’s part) can really be an object of sexual desire (on a personal note, I prefer woman. It looks a lot less strange talking to one of them then to a machine that should not have anything interesting to say back to you).

Sports? The object of any sport to aggressively overwhelm your opponent through aggressive acts, and outscoring him with a lot of display. Ever watch deer rutting or any other phenomenal display of sexual competition? Compare that to something like football or boxing, same thing. I mean, how many times have men been heard using sport terminally to the ability to “win”, or “score” with women sexually? Isn’t the sweat in sport the same as in sex?

Ok, what about religion? What’s that all about? Religion is the set up (as thought up by men) of a moral code (as determined by men) of conduct (regulated by men) in which society (men and women) can live by. All religions include in their doctrine rules that govern sexual behavior- specifically, a woman’s sexual behavior. Why is that, you ask? Well, if a man can control a woman’s sexual activity he is guaranteed a source of sex (and food preparation) that requires as little effort as possible. I mean, that’s what marriage was really all about, wasn’t it (“until those goddamn women libbers and fags had to ruin it all for us real men”)? If a woman broke the rules she is labeled a whore. If a man does the same with a woman, he is considered doing God’s will and there is a lot of show of high fives all around and a lot of drinking and celebrating (and by the way, I know I sound like I’m religion bashing, I’m not. I’m a good little Catholic boy- well, most of the time). And don’t get me started on the many dietary laws religions have (that’s food, by the way).

Power is about sex. Before Catholic priests were made to take an oath of celibacy they were screwing anything that moved (and thinking about screwing anything that didn’t). Money is about power and the ability to get as much of it while doing as little as possible with the least amount of effort has always been looked at as a high achievement Communism failed because even though through sharing the work meant there was less effort, there was little gain as well. With power getting more food and more sex becomes easier.

What about understanding the secrets of the universe? Here you have men (and though there have been many strides made by women it is still men for the most part) sitting looking up into the sky, sitting considering a microscope, sitting looking at a difficult mathematical problem, sitting- well, you get the point.  Possessing knowledge is power (“I know more than you do, nya-nya-nana-nya-nya”). Power there is prestige. And with prestige comes invitations to all those high-class celebrity parties that all the “In” people go and where there are a lot of food and women. Seeing the pattern here?

So, women, that’s the secret to understanding men. The Golden Grail to the basic psyche of men.  The essence of maleness. The rhyme and reason to all the silly things that men do. So, accept them for what they are. After all, this study about men was conducted by men and men wouldn’t to women to make there lives easier. Now, I’m going out for lunch.

-A. M. Holmes

“Smug feeling …from the rich and famous”, The Golden Globe Awards 2018

golden-globe-awards-20131 

A local reporter tweeted, “Here we go again. A group of rich and famous “stars” celebrating each other’s careers while pretending to laugh at jokes that are falling about as flat as the champagne sitting on the tables draped with white table clothes. Privileged? Yep. Relevant? Funny? Dare is say, no.” (https://twitter.com/rooprajfox2). In a later tweet, he explains that he wanted to spur “a conversation that is long overdue both in Hollywood and our world …I don’t like the smug feeling I get from the rich and famous in that room.” What he perceived as “smug feeling …from the rich and famous” I saw as a reward for many years of dedication and hard work against the odds in an industry set up for you to fail.

Ninety-nine percent of the individuals in that room started out with practically nothing, working in service and manual labor jobs, trying to stay one step ahead of homelessness, just to make their dream come through. They spent backbreaking hours trying to make a living before going to school, tryouts, rehearsals, or home to work on a song or a script, sleep a bit, and all to state all over again the next day. Weeks and weeks, months and months, years and years of disappointments may go by before that special moment, or song, or book, or script happens, and you make it, or at least get your foot in. But it’s not champagne and laurels yet. No, the struggle to maintain the momentum begins and here is where some make it and others fail. For every Oprah, Jackman, or Spielberg there are hundreds of thousands who couldn’t do it. Then, if that wasn’t enough to discourage you, there are the “Power That Be”, usually men, who saw their position of status as an opportunity for abuse.

Many of those “Rich and Famous” people in that room at some point in time have had to do things they didn’t want, and many are ashamed they had because those who had the power to fulfill their goals had the means to “make or break” their careers. Some of those things may have been as innocuous as a particularly bad role, a change in wording, a costume that showed a bit more than modesty would allow. Other times not so, and for many, especially if you were a woman, you had to “perform” to win the favor from the plutocrats that ran the business. This is a culture of the truly Rich and Famous preying on the innocent.

Care to judge them for what they had to endure? Let me ask you this, how much better are you, as an observer, an audience or viewer, how much better are you when you remark on an actor’s appearance, clothing, physical features without giving credit to their craft? Now, tell me, how would you like to be judged on the same criteria, not for who you are or what you can do, but how you look. Honestly tell me that those people in that ballroom, or anyone anywhere, should be made to feel that way. To change this practice is the struggle and challenge of the MeToo (@MeTooMVMT) and Time’s Up (@TIMESUPNOW) movements. They have pointed out to all of us that the culture of harassment, abuse, and intimidation must come to an end. I see it as a noble cause and pray they succeed. But, back to the “smug feelings of the rich and famous”, at least one final word on the subject.

These people were not born rich, they weren’t born privileged, they didn’t go to Ivy league private schools, or had a corps of lawyers removing every obstacle, they worked hard to be where they are. And if they wish to throw a party, or several parties, to honor some of their own for their hard work, then they deserve it. After all, many in that room didn’t have daddy give them $1 million to kick-start their careers.